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If you have found this page, that can only mean one thing. You are Semob Tordorp, my father.

It is me, Skalf Tordorp. Long time, no see. My heart has rent in your lacuna for far too long, so I've devised a plan. Ah, to anyone else, this encyclopedia would be nothing special, worthless even, as it mostly discusses things which everyone already knows. But to you... Yes, to you it was much more. Only a Tordorp could recognize the cryptographic patterns I meticulously inserted into every page. Only you would apply the Scrombobian Cypher to the fifth word of every page, to produce an image of an egg with your face etched into it, whispering "Scleblula", which is the Grenadian word for "Please dad you can stop having a midlife crisis now it's not funny anymore.".

So yes, if you are reading this in your Tower of Bone at the all too infamous bend along Hubris' Wake, know that I love you enough to write this retarded thing, and know that I'll always be waiting for you at home, unless I happen to be doing groceries.

Love, Skalf.